476. Tue 11/9/18: The Bowlers’ Bar, St John’s Wood, London

Beer: Marston’s Pedigree 4.5%

It’s a lovely vantage point, the Bowlers’ Bar balcony in the Pavilion, but the clientele can make it pretty unbearable. They tend to be far too loud, far too full of themselves, far too Tory and far too pissed. This lot are, apparently, members from Kent (or Kentish members) “oh, you MUST know Richard” and “get the Prosecco’s in!” The Bowlers’ Bar can be the best at Lord’s, on a good day, but much like this on too many others. Middle class uncouth.

We’re there to see the steward perform the duty of ringing the five-minute bell – the timing of which has to be exact, naturally, so he has his mobile phone counting down the seconds. I take come pictures of the bell (before he comes along).

Not entirely sure what the “Sky Sports” area, at ground level between the Pavilion and Warner Stand, is all about; looks like MCC staff may have been having a joke with/at the expense of Murdoch’s evil empire.

Anyway, that lot behind are getting on my nerves. We leave and go to the Allan Stand with those Middlesex Members who don’t dress up to get in the Pavilion. The real fans. They talk cricket, quietly and authoritatively, and drink beer that they’ve bought in themselves. They’re far better, and wholly more dignified, company than those loudmouths on the other side of the Pavilion.

491a. Sat 29/9/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Milestone Black Pearl 4.3%

Post football. Discussion about football, specifically, Luton Town’s 2-2 draw with Charlton. Surprised that most thought the first half wasn’t great. Perhaps my quality filters are out of whack – looked a good contest from the off and pretty much throughout. It ended up as of those games you know’s been great, but is still disappointing, what with the Addicks snatching a point with 95 minutes on the clock.

More catching up with Uncle A and Cousin M, who seem to have been suitably impressed with the whole experience, albeit with some misgivings on chaps near them who were keen to moan all the way through the game. You get people like that, sadly. Some discussion around a possible return, which would be fantastic.

No picture; no video.

480a. Tue 18/9/18: Café Beira Gare, Faro

Beer: SCC Sagres Preta 4.3%

A quick visit, waiting for the late afternoon Tavira train, after the best part of a day being impressed with the excellent cathedral and municipal museum, both of which are situated under the flight path of Faro Airport. Most of Faro seems to be situated under the flight path of Faro Airport.

The Beira Gare occupies prime position directly opposite the railway station. Hence the name, and as such, and as a locals’ spot, the lack of shifty, druggie, ex-roady, sun-sloshed, pneumatic junkbombs, hustlers, oldtime male bimbos and lady thugs is noticeable.

Me and AMS have been here before. I like it, despite the Preta. It’s meant to be a dark beer, but just feels as if SCC had the idea of replacing much of the alcohol content from a normal 5% lager with gravy browning. It’s odd and quite appalling. The friendly bar lady didn’t warn me of this when I pulled it out of the self-service chiller. Or if she did, I didn’t understand. I was at a disadvantage, what with my total lack of Portuguese. She could have been saying anything as I waved my two drinks in front of her. But still, the beer’s the same price as AMS’ water. And as any decent person will tell you, water really is filthy stuff. 

479a. Sat 15/9/18: Pedras de Rainha Lido Bar, Cabanas de Tavira, Tavira

Beer: Unicer Super Bock 5.0%

Holiday time. Pedras de Rainha is a wonderful escape from Spanish package holidays. It’s in Portugal. And situated among the pines, back from the main roads, tucked just after the beach and the Fio Formosa nature reserve. It’s heady and wonderful. Even the Jet 2 Northern holiday makers aren’t that irritating and the golf and time share crowd are well out of sight.

We’re sitting by the pool on day 2. I’m catching up with blogs and online chess. AMS (Anj, my life partner, and not erstwhile Hatters non-league powerhouse striker Amari Morgan-Smith) is on social media, catching up on the activities of some band or other.

AJK       What do you want to do tomorrow?

AMS     

AJK       ….

AMS

AJK       Er, hello?

AMS      Oh. Sorry, Here’s a puppy.

The Pedras bar has a hugely ambitious number of seats, inside and out. They’re tended and we’re looked after by a barman who looks a cross between Barry from Eastenders and Andy Partridge, not from Eastenders. Inside, on the tellies, there’s golf (on one) and someone punditing on a recently finished game of Assoc football (on the other). There’s no one else here, except another screen hungry couple, hoovering Lays crisps and Super Bock.

On the golf screen, a green shot is being lined up. ‘Rock’ music has started leaking from the other telly. The one which had been showing football. I don’t look – whatever this ‘rock’ music might be soundtracking has instilled an active disinterest.

485a. Fri 21/9/18: Sofitel London Gatwick, North Terminal, Horley

Beer: Sharp’s Atlantic Pale Ale 4.5%

Off for a couple of weeks to Madeira so staying at the Sofitel the night before. Could have got train in the morning but didn’t fancy the early-ish rise and it’s always a nice start to the break.

As you might expect, no real ale on tap and Sharp’s have the place sewn up with only this and the ubiquitous Doom Bar on offer. This holiday not felt real until now, had to deal with a break in at my mums the last couple of weeks but got the insurance and repairs to the property sorted before I left so feel ready for the break now. A top notch South East Asian meal at the in house restaurant and a double Lagavulin to finish puts me in holiday mood.

491b. Sun 30/9/18: Local Bar, Funchal, Madeira

Beer: Superbock Stout 5.0%

As far as I could see, the only name for this bar is “Local Bar” so I’m sticking with that. As usual, I got the location of this bar from memory wrong, Christine was right. Although it’s in the Hotel Zone, there does appear to be something more local about this place than others in the area. Certainly more low key and understated although the bar is littered with English pub related ware and lots of football club flags.

There was a Hook Norton Brewery beer towel on the bar and when I asked if they had any beers from this brewery I got a hearty laugh. A Superbock Stout it was then. As with practically every bar in Funchal, there is the ubiquitous TV screen with the ubiquitous football on it but here another TV was showing the Portuguese version of The Voice thankfully with the sound on mute. I have been coming to Funchal for a number of years and never got round to seeing a match even though the Maritimo stadium is only 10 minutes up the hill. Maybe next time.

486c. Fri 28/9/18: The Globe, Dunstable

Beer: Everards Tiger 4.2%

The Globe is a wonderful place. A haven for real ale, with enough breweriana and tat to make it feel like a working museum. Usually, it’s too busy for my liking, so I decide to give it a go on a weekday (well, a Friday) afternoon.

It’s three in the afternoon and there are four types of people in the pub. Me (cyclist), bar staff, barfly bloke and tradesmen. Bar staff are in command, but the tradesmen are in the ascendancy. Their ‘effin’ and jeffin’ provides a wonderful reminder of the implicit threat of the small town. There’s talk of cider, Gladiators and Monkeys. I can only assume the latter two are names of ales.

Cycling was a mixed bag. Happy to have seen Egrets, Kites and Buzzards, although I had a puncture 20 miles out. Fixed, but there’s no way I was going to get anything like enough air in the back tube to finish with the vim and dash with which I tackled the early part of the journey.

473b. Fri 7/9/18: The Angelic, Islington, London

Beer: Timothy Taylor Landlord 4.3%

A pub trying to be all things to all people, and more or less missing the mark every time. The Angelic’s not a bad place, it’s just not very good. TT’s Landlord’s on, but the flavour’s chilled out of it. There’s pretentious sounding food which turns out all brown lumps. The location’s a curious mixture; a hulking Sainsbury’s cuts it off from the infernal poshpots of Upper St, and although there are grocery vans and residential streets, you wouldn’t call the Angelic a ‘local’. There’s music, although again, it’s 80s/90s bland. Transvision Vamp and REM; the stuff which did for students before grunge and Britpop got going.

And yet, I feel quite comfortable. Maybe I’ve got no class.

The music’s not loud, and the identity crisis means the place is busy but not heaving. A pretty good place, in fact, to let The Landlord lose its chill, find a seat and read my book. Which, as the picture below shows, has a picture of a mouse on the cover.

After a couple of pints and a reasonable amount of reading, I popped into the loos, whose gargoyles, fountains and satyric statues were half JD Wetherspoon, half Arthur Machen. The best and oddest saved til last.

481. Thu 20/9/18: Cittie of Yorke, London

Beer: Samuel Smiths Old Brewery Bitter 4.0%

After a vaguely work related course near Leicester Square, I seek out this famous old (but not that old) pub offering “the only real ale in London served from wooden casks”.

It’s taken quite a while to find this place, a pub which piqued my vague interest some years ago. It’s good… it’s ok… it’s a bit olde worlde Victorian mock-medieval but aren’t we all – eh readers?

I sit in a booth, write this, look over the pics I’ve taken… and contemplate moving on to a place listed in The Good Beer Guide (rather than the CAMRA OTT interior register).

Central London has got no prettier since my last visit – with a new abundance of rough sleepers, bemused tourists and huge great shops dedicated to tawdry tat. Again, things were much better in the olde days where we grew up weren’t they? Was it ever thus?

491. Sat 29/9/18: The Bricklayers Arms, Luton

Beer: Milestone Black Pearl 4.3%

LUTON TOWN                 2-2         CHARLTON ATHLETIC

A draw is fair. Charlton looked far better than the Town in the first half – though when we got back into it, with about twenty minutes to go – and went 2-1 up, things looked up dramatically. Charlton time wasting, when they were ahead, led to five minutes added time at the end, and the equaliser was timed at 95 minutes. Ho-hum.

Back in Hightown, the Brickies is wedged. A victim both of its own success – and a result of so many pubs closing down in the area in the past few years. There’s a Prem match on – so we’re edged outside, which is fine on this reasonably pleasant Autumnal early evening.

Steve Harper has gotten himself a doner kebab – which looks simultaneously disgusting and lovely. I’m longing to lean over and grab a slice of greasy spicy lamb… but don’t.

Our uncle and cousin have time for a pint before their train back down South. They’ve had a good day, which is good to hear… a win would’ve been nice but, though we woz robbed, we can’t really complain. Not that anyone is, really.

Steph stays for a post-match pint, and we have to wait for five-ten minutes for a taxi next door. That’s fine, really; but some of those fans… Town fans, a family group (all blokes) apparently, pissed out their heads – walking up and down lower High Town Road – cheeking the coppers – acting up – old enough to know better. Meanwhile, across the road at The Well, a gaggle of (mostly very young) blokes are trying to engage them in banter. I think they’re Charlton fans, I don’t know/care… they exude the kind of barely veiled aggression that you don’t want to make eye contact with. Anyway, the first lot of fans (who seem, thankfully but tortuously, making their way to the station) are too drunk to take the bait.

It’s a scene both ridiculous and faintly sinister… the fans from The Well, wherever they come from, melt back within. Goodness knows what the atmosphere is like in The Well. Well dodgy. I’m glad the Brickies’ crowd, though large, seems (and deliberately) benign. It’s something we shouldn’t take for granted.