1282. Fri 10/6/22: Bar San Mateo II, Jerez de la Frontera

Beer: Galicia Estrella 5.0%

“I like these crappy old bars, don’t you?” Stephanie inquires. I concur. The main square bars in Plaza del Arenal are bright and full and friendly and touting for business (which puts us off). This place, just off the square, is reasonably dark and dingy and has three tables outside – all occupied by little groups of old boys. We go inside – there’s (what appears to be) a fierce Matriarch behind the bar; she seems to be telling off an old boy regular but is charming when she addresses us. Would I prefer a large beer? Yes please. Gracias.

An old friend of the old boy who was being told off lets us know that there’s a table free outside now. Gracias. We file out.

It’s dark out now, it’s gone 10pm, and mercifully cool. Kids are still outside – four of the little blighters, enthusiastically kicking around a shabby leather football. Two of the kids are wearing Paris St Germain shirts… which seems incongruous. Still, better that than Real Madrid or Man Utd isn’t it? I’m not sure. PSG seem horribly noveau riche.

One of the PSG kids starts showing off his juggling skills. He’s got some skills. On the pitch, I suggest to Steph, he’s probably shit. 

The ambience is lovely and laidback, while the bar is getting increasingly busy. Perhaps it’s folks coming out now the heat of the day has eased – and maybe they’re coming to this bar ‘cause its not selling Cruzcampo. We leave sometime after 11pm.

1314. Thu 16/6/22: Casa Diego, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Most every other bar on Plaza de la Alfalfa has been smartened up, the area seems to have undergone a phase of gentrification recently – good luck to ‘em – but there remains something endearingly shambolic about Casa Diego.

It’s mid-afternoon.

This would have been report no 1313 had we not walked off in a huff a little while ago – having sat at a table outside and been ignored. We’ll give it another go though (we have a sentimental attachment to the place), maybe we need to go to the bar.

We go to the bar. There are plenty of staff around, but they seem preoccupied. The old boy in the kitchen is moaning about something or other to a party of customers sat on a plastic table over the way. A waiter is flitting around, taking orders and passing them onto the young couple behind the bar. They seem oblivious to him – and more intent on flirting with each other.

We manage to catch their attention to get served. We sit at the bar – marvelling at the feverish inactivity behind it. The other establishments on Plaza de la Alfalfa are packed; they’re slick operations these days. There are no crowds here, and it’s far from slick – we far prefer places like this.

The weather, though – it’s still WAY TOO HOT

1281. Fri 10/6/22: Taberna Arenal, Jerez de la Frontera

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Tabanco El Pasaje didn’t work for us tonight. It was too packed. Another time maybe.

We wander back into the city centre and, in the main Square, stop at this all guns a’blazin’ tapas emporium. We order boqueronas fritas – little fried fishes – when they arrive, some aren’t all that little. They’re delicious. I’ve had better – but not very often. They’re all sardines, these. Excellent, but maybe a little samey after the third. Such quibbling seems ridiculous though – this is lovely simple bar snackery; we’d bloody love it if this kind of thing was available back home.

If Cruzcampo was available in the UK… my notes suggest that purgatory might include a multitude of public houses selling Cruzcampo, John Smiths, Doom Bar and Greene King IPA.

This pub/restaurant (we sit inside at the bar) is lovely and aircon cool. The heat was tremendous earlier this afternoon, so the evening cool is much appreciated.

1293. Sun 12/6/22: Tabanco Paulino, Jerez de la Frontera

Beer: Cruzcampo (out of bottles) 4.8%

Here we see the last knockings of the Esp v Cze football international. It’s 2-0 now. The action is screened on a little telly on the wall; the commentary set at volume at which it’s just audible over the house PA, playing OMD’s Enola Gay and Cher’s Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in his kiss).

The heat of the day has assuaged, mercifully, but it’s still (way too) warm.

Cruzcampo out of a bottle is far better than draught. It’s not great, but it’s better. We’ve been drinking Estrella Galicia, at the last place, and we’re now nicely soused.

Telly switched off immediately after the football final whistle. Summat by Bon Jovi plays on.

Outside a ragged band of flamenco folk make something of a commotion. They’re a ragtag bunch but, again, isn’t this the purest – most authentic – manifestation of the form? Any flamenco aficionados out there care tell?

Last night, last bar, in Jerez. It’s been good. I’ve enjoyed it. It’s been WAY too hot – but nicely away from the mass tourism hubbub.

1336. Sun 19/6/22: Lonja del Barranco Market, Seville

Beer: Cruzcampo 5.0%

Cruzcampo tank, no less; in this trendy market refurb on the Seville side of the river. We have something to eat – two little open sandwiches, which cost E4.50 a pop. Rip off.

Big telly with football on. Tenerife v Girona. I’m guessing this is a La Liga relegation play-off – the clues are in the tears of the Tenerife fans as Girona go 3-1 up.

It is a play-off match. Girona stay up. There are a good few Girona supporters there – have a look on a map, it’s flippin’ miles and miles away.

We don’t hang around.

1348b. Wed 22/6/22: The Half Moon, Melton Mowbray

Beer: Castle Rock Harvest Pale Ale 3.8%

The Half Moon’s in the middle of MM. Very much a ‘town pub,’ with a few tables sectioned off in front of the building, one of those olde maps on the wall, a lone regular, a table of out of towners and a table of old friends, yabbering away and making plans to get together, kind of missing the point that they, err, together. 

I have to wait a while to get served. No matter. It’s Wednesday, and everyone seems to have time on their hands. There’s some disapprobrium at the bar – the out of towners have shoved empty crisp packets in their pint glasses.

The old friends are talking up Ashby for a decent night out, and slagging off tLotus Formula One racing cars, back in the day. They (the cars) are described as being built to last the race, then fall to pieces, presumably in the pit lane. 

I have a couple, but not in a mood for a third. Especially when a couple of lads come in, and put some loud tunes on the jukebox.

1348i. Sat 25/6/22: Banana’s Pub, Funchal, Madeira

Beer: Caneca 5%?

Yes, yes it’s a pub called Banana’s. Note the apostrophe which indicates it is owned by a banana. 

We’re in the old town part of Funchal which is very much the tourist trappy/cruise ship excursion part. We’ve been to this bar a few times over the years since we started coming to Madeira. In its early days, it was sort of patchily run by an Indian guy and we got some decent cold meat and cheese tapas with the beer. Now, the bar people are hipsterish. There is, in fact, a small menu of craft beers but I stick with the cold wet and not much else to say about it local lager.

We only stay for one (Christine keeps saying she can smell dogshit) and get a bus to the hotel zone for eats.

1343. Tue 10/6/22: Los Gatos, Malaga

Beer: Mahou 5.0%

Back to Malaga for our flight back home tomorrow morning. In the meantime we’re in Malaga city centre to meet my brother and his missus – SDK and CK – who are just starting their holiday, the lucky blighters.

They’re here before us. Finding the place they’re at thru Google Maps is something of a pain in the arse. They’re right in the centre, full of tourist overfriendly restaurants. Not necessarily where we’d have gone – I’d have treated Stephanie to the cheaper seedier bars in town – but it’s lovely to see them. They’ve been chatting with a waiter to procure a nice table outside – and the menu is on its way and… chatting with waiters?! What the heck are we signing up for here?

We end up having tapas toasties – little eels, octopus, goats cheese and caramelised onion… there was another, can’t remember what it was.

The social dynamic is unfavourable to my usual taking of pictures and notes, and so both are sadly/politely lacking. We talk of family matters and that. All very pleasant.

1308. Wed 15/6/22: Casa Manteca, Cádiz

Beer: Mahou 5.0%

Second, and almost certainly last, CM visit this trip: it was base camp last time, not so much this. Not sure why… I don’t love it that much less. Perhaps it’s because it was just a little bit more local last time.

Anyway, still, this is a great place – the fact that this is no secret means it gets too packed of an evening, but at 3:20pm on a Wednesday afternoon its lovely.

We sit in front bar and examine the photographs and press clippings on the walls – we look at the folk pictured therein and attempt to work out the lineage of the Manteca family.

1348g. Fri 24/6/22: The George Hotel, Hull

Beer: Hereford Pale Ale 4.0%

Big old bar on the edge of the city centre. Lots of dark wood, tiles and lino, sport on telly and busy, if not rammed. Which is as well. Looks like the kind of place Patrick Hamilton might have written about if he wrote about Hull.

Things are warming up – it’s the big Friday night, after all. There’s a rather rangy looking fellow in sport/lounge gear at the bar. The seat of his tracksuit is saggy and he’s drinking fast. The bar staff are keeping an eye on him, although after a while, it looks like the assumption is that he’s harmless enough.

Seats are at a premium, so I position myself on a barrel to one end of the bar. The beer’s pretty average. I grab a seat facing the bar when a party leaves and pushes off to continue their drinking elsewhere. I think about a second pint, but decide against it.